Tale of Souls Chapter Nine
Time must be bouncing around a lot more than I’m expecting. It’s not like I can control what I’m doing. The others can, but I’m going in blind and sometimes I’m being pushed or shunted. Sometimes I’m not even doing things and I get shunted somewhere. I’m just trying to keep to these instructions so I can – well, not be the hero – but help get us somewhere. Somewhere that we can finally fix time.
“You’ll need a new name, and fast – they don’t appreciate nameless faces.”
I have a name, and I’ve heard this before – I realize that some of the “walking” gets mistaken for the visions of past and future – but how many times do I have to play groundhog day? Unless this is another version of time and I haven’t experienced this yet.
The only thing I knew how to respond with is the only thing I’ve ever responded with since this happened when I was younger. Knowing that’s Strode’s voice, and knowing I’m in the hospital after they experimented on all of us. Knowing that this memory, this vision was the first time I’d actually seen myself in the face outside of a mirror. This was the first time I’d noticed I wasn’t Lily anymore.
“ A name? Dammit I don’t even know who you are let alone … what is going on. “
Word for word, it’s the only thing I remember from the whole situation.
Lily’s been screaming and crying, and her electric … her lightning based powers that was one of the first things we had growing up – started arcing uncontrollably off the different things plugged into the room around us. If insurance didn’t cover this at the time, I don’t know what will.
“ I don’t remember asking for this.” Lily keeps trying to calm down, she’s anxious, she’s nervous – and she’s freaked out. I mean so was I – but i’m reliving the same moment every few months because my brain thinks it’s groundhog day. When you’re removed from your home, and you’re taken into a government facility – it’s scary. “I JUST WANTED TO FUCKING FINISH MY MATH HOMEWORK”
Ok, time hasn’t changed much – I’d be more worried if she’d farted and said “HI IM HADES LORD OF THE DEAD HOW YA DOING” and then shape shifted into Emet Selch. I’ve seen my husband do that just to scare the shit out of me around Hallloween.
“I don’t either, but I’m not gonna let you down. “ I knew what was between the legs, I didn’t care anymore – and it probably will screw up time but I don’t really care.
“What’s dad gonna say?” She’s worried that we’re going to frustrate, scare or cause issues with our parents. Believe me when I say this, both parents have no real issues with everything. Dad is a little bit of a twit when it comes to addressing the four of us, but I’ve been back to see him in person and I’ll stick my finger up his nose – I’m only an inch and a half shorter than him. Should’ve seen it when Rana came with me once, he’s taller than Dad now. He DID shove his finger up dad’s nose and it was cute, hilarious and well awkward.
“Trust me. It’ll be ok.”
That’s not, I didn’t say that – sadly I wanted to. I had to stay close enough to the origin or I’d mess up.
“He won’t even know, don’t … tell anyone about this. “
We didn’t want anyone to know about it. All of us kept it as a secret, I kept it so secret that I forgot who I was for a long time. I blocked memories out, created fake ones to explain who I was. Ryan did the same thing, and I can’t vouch for Kristoff.
“…..that’s not fair on you.”
Well no, no it’s not – but we were never going to have a fair go at everything after what happened were we? Especially not what they do to you later on when they create Rana. My heart’s still in tatters after everything I’ve heard and occasionally seen.
“It doesn’t matter what’s fair, this is the safest option. “
“Are you going to save me when this is all over?”
I’d never heard that before when I come back here. I blinked and I saw Rana sitting there with the old stuffed rabbit in his hands.
“When it’s all over will Daddy still love me?”
I blinked again and I saw Strode in front of me holding his hand around my neck. Just enough to put pressure on but not enough to choke me half to death.
“When it’s all over are you going to do what you’re told?”
I felt like my shoulders were getting shaken back and forth after this. I don’t know if I should keep blinking or call the nurse. I know I’m the autistic ADHD kid who can’t even pass art class let alone Spanish, but somewhere in my head I’m feeling rushed, maybe not the right words. I feel like I’m in two places at once. I know this is either a vision or walking per se – but I can’t help but feel like I’m being pulled.
Ok now i’m hearing voices.
“OK he thinks he’s hearing voices again, GET THE CHEETOS AND SHOVE THEM UP HIS NOSE.”
That sounded like either Yasuo or Psilas.
“He thinks I sound like Psilas, SAI GET YOUR HUSBAND’S BRAIN SCREWED IN RIGHT GOD DAMMIT he’s not listening. YOU DRAMATIC FREAK OF NATURE WAKE UP.”
Oh, thank fuck this wasn’t walking it was a vision – at least that’s what i’m hoping.
“Center your damn thoughts idiot – I need you to walk through another situation for me.”
I opened my eyes again for a second, and noticed I was sitting on the floor in the hallway with a set of cheetos up my nose.
“You were drunk, you put those there.” Makoto was lying, and had a bag of cheetos in his hand as he stared at me like I was insane. “Aside from my trolling you – you’re not bleeding out anywhere and I need to study one last area of your past. I know you think I’m not taking you seriously – and half the time it seems that way, but I am.”
“Get the cheesy comestibles out of my damn nose and we’ll talk” I groggily tried to get up but failed. My head was woozy again and I couldn’t think straight.
“Don’t get up yet, you’ll probably walk back into another time without your own permission.” Makoto grabbed the now snotty cheetos and wrapped them in kleenex and pocketed them. “There’s no trash can out here, and I don’t wanna leave you.”
“You barely even know me, what the hell do you want with me?”
“You think I don’t, but don’t forget we all exist in different ways across different times.”
“Nah, you don’t know me – I’m not even lying, you just don’t.”
“It’s not like Izuchi knew you any better, I’m not trying to be your friend nor your mentor – but I am your team mate, and I am your brother in law. Something snapped with Izuchi, and we want to know what so we can look at it better.”
“He gave into his vices. How is he even part of this?”
“Because each collapses in time, he goes earlier – there’s only ONCE I’ve seen him lose it on his own. Sorry, twice. First time was because even your husband lost the plot. That wasn’t even due to the Makara influence – that was long before that took hold. The other time? He couldn’t work out the lies vs his truths and it ate away at him. He lost his humanity physically, but his vices changed because he couldn’t change how he was thinking about humanity. The cracks come sooner each time they collapse and they get worse and worse each time.”
I sighed and looked up at Makoto and looked down into my hands for a moment. These hands have seen a lot of shit, and so these eyes have as well. I barely comprehend the fact that I can walk straight into another time, let alone control the visions that plague me. Even harder is the fact that time isn’t linear, and time collapses and changing is making even less sense.
“I know you can’t comprehend this shit, you weren’t born into any of it – you were human in birth 99% of the timelines. The one that you’re not? You’re a clone on the Makara’s team trying to murder my family.”
Well that’s a new one.
“All I know is my husband would lose his life for you, he’s given our heritage to you – which believe it or not is extremely rare these days for anyone of our race to do. Arashi don’t even do it that much. There used to be a lot more conversions – it was almost a thing people would do to gain citizenship and leave earth. The Makara didn’t like anyone else on their planet even those of us who were there long before them.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Go back a couple steps, find in yourself things that might be unclear to you – things that have to do with Izuchi in a good or bad way. Well or not, just anything that might connect you to times that have to do with him. I need to see your side, I’ve seen the others.” Makoto kept munching on the snacks in his hand and grabbed a big cup that he’d had sitting by him with a straw in it on the floor. Suddenly, slurping and loud straw noises followed by, “Oh shit, it’s empty. Fuck.”
I raised my eyebrow as I managed to get onto my knees after the room stopped spinning – ok more like the hallway.
“No, i’m not drinking booze i’m not that stupid. Unless Yasuo spiked this again, but wait he’s not here right now, PSILAS DID YOU SPIKE MY DRINK AGAIN?” Makoto stared at me, downwards and growled for a moment, “Do what I ask – while I hunt your son down I’ll be back to peek into what you’re looking at when I get done murdering Psilas.”
Purposely triggering a walk, a vision – isn’t safe – but we’re in a dire situation here with the world practically at the brink of ending. Plus this was sort of on the instruction list, I just get shitty with Mako when he thinks he owns the place.
“SO I JUST SIT BACK THE FUCK DOWN ASSHOLE AND WAIT FOR YOUR – “
“NO YOU GO NOW, AND I’LL BE WITH YOU IN A FEW MINUTES”